Ah, if only I lived in Canada! For those of you, like
me, who exist in the portion of the world that didn't
see the 'Wing last night due to -- *ahem* -- the topic
of the unity of our nation, here's a little blurb that
demonstrates how I am no longer interested in politics
....
VIVA CANADA
(A No-Ep Fanfic)
"Donna!"
The bellow was followed by a crash from Josh's office,
which in turn was followed by another bellow.
"Donnatella Moss!"
"Do you know how ridiculous you sound when you do
that?"
"Do what?"
"You bellow my name and then you knock things off your
desk and then you bellow my *full* name."
"I do not bellow."
"You bellow, Josh! You're like, 'Donna! Donna!'"
"Okay, don't -- ever do that."
"Do you ever wonder how annoying it would be if I
summoned you that way?"
"You do summon me that way."
Donna sighed. "Well, I don't throw things."
"I don't throw things."
"Josh --"
"I do not throw things, Donna. I'm not eight years
old. I ... scoot them."
Donna met his gaze, then rolled her eyes and started
to gather up the papers Josh had scooted off his desk.
"What do you need?"
Josh waved at the television. "What happened to the
show?"
"What show?"
"My show. The one I was going to watch tonight."
"The sports one?"
"Yeah."
"Preempted."
"For what?"
Donna stopped organizing and faced him. "For the
President."
"For the address?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"'Cause it's important!"
"I know."
"It's a big thing!"
"I know! Just --"
"What?"
"It's important to everyone?"
"Yes!"
"But ... I'm so sick of it now."
Donna planted her hands on her hips and stared at
Josh. "You spent three months pushing this bill."
"Yes."
"It's a controversial bill."
"Yes."
"There were demonstrations."
"Yes."
"Protests."
"Yes."
"Rallies."
"Yes."
"It's going to pass."
"Yes."
"Half an hour ago you were doing your freakly little
dance of joy because it's going to pass."
"Yes."
"And now you're bored."
"Yes."
"You are *too* eight years old."
"Well ... okay."
"Move to Canada."
Josh blinked. "What?"
"Move to Canada. They're not broadcasting the
national address in Canada."
"Yes, Donna; if they were, we would have to change the
name of it from the national address to the ... I
don't know, the something else address."
Donna stared at him. "Your broad vocabulary, Josh, is
made even more stunning by the eloquence with which
you present it," she deadpanned.
"Wait." Josh suddenly took in what she had said.
"The Canadians are watching my show?"
"Yes."
"How come the Canadians get to watch my show and I
don't?"
"Because the Canadians didn't spend the last three
months passing an enormously important bill."
"Are you sure?"
"Josh --"
"I'm just saying, Donna. You don't work in the
Canadian government. You never know what kind of --"
"Please shut up." She started to leave.
"You don't want to underestimate Canada. Where are
you going?"
"To Canada."
"Donna!"
"What?"
"Do something!"
She faced him again. "What would you have me do,
Joshua?"
He shrugged. "Entertain me."
"Josh!" Donna growled.
"I was looking forward to the show!" he whined.
"Yes, I know. Do you know how I know?"
"Because I mentioned it eight hundred thousand times
today, and you're on the verge of killing me?"
"Because you mentioned it eight hundred thousand times
today, although that pales in comparison to the two
hundred sixty four million times you mentioned this
bill, which is a huge bill, and has been your top
priority for the last three months, giving you barely
enough time to take a breath, let alone actually go
home or eat lunch, and you've been totally devoted to
it and yesterday it looked like it might not pass, but
today, out of the blue, you got the confirmation you
needed, and the whole country has been following this,
and the President is talking about it on national
television in fifteen minutes, and now you're going to
sit here and complain about the sports show?"
Josh looked at her with a serious expression. "Wow."
"What?"
"I was watching closely, and I've got to say -- it's
amazing to me how you didn't take a single breath
during all of that."
Donna growled again. "Josh!"
Josh shrugged. "I've got to complain about something.
Better this than your handwriting."
Donna stared at him for a long moment, then turned and
walked away. "Viva Canada," she muttered under her
breath, and Josh laughed and changed the channel.
~Sary
13 December 2000